About-face

Current song: Kygo & Whitney Houston – Higher Love

My annual year end self reflection brings me to beautiful Bahamas this year ✨ As 2019 draws to a close, I’ve found myself more disciplined to vulnerably reflect on the past year, and glean to the future with a directional path forward inclusive of key “musts” peppered in. Sometimes its course correction or adding/dropping things off the list, but it’s become more refined with each year. I gladly share my method and own question set below that has helped me frame how to tactical approach progress and be productive in the new year. ⠀

2019 grade? I give myself a B+ :)⠀

1. Being conscious of time spent. ⠀

Did I accomplish or do what I committed to do? What if you do a quick exercise on % of time spent with yourself versus % of time doing whatever (work, drinking, TV, etc.) with others? Reality is you need to make time to center yourself and there’s no shame in doing so. The key is to be first conscious and more aware of it. I’ll tell you it’s ok to be by yourself. Is it scary? Damn right it can be…at first. Then it’s normal. Hey, trust me on this, this is coming from a extreme extrovert that had to learned aspects of the introvert way.⠀⠀

2. Bet on yourself.

YOUR passion. YOUR dream. Anything and everything is yours for the taking. We are individuals first. So what do you want for yourself? Or are we living someone else’s perception or society’s dream?! Are you going to school to be a MD because you were told so? Contrary to popular belief, no need to conform, it’s ok to go against the grain and NOT follow the herd. ⠀

3. It’s not all about the Benjamins. ⠀

I know, saaaay whhhat?! I’ve found wealth in life to be the inverse of as we know it. Wealth to me is spending time and experiences with those you love and their presence alone kicks you up on an emotional high that you never want to come down from. That is something that I would never trade for anything in the world or could put a $ on. ⠀⠀

4. Just release. ⠀

We’ve all heard of “just do it” (and I’m all about go go go, do do do), but there is some beauty in releasing and not forcing things to happen. This year from the magical story with my dear friend Bea to synchronicities with my brothers Francis and Simon. Everything happens for a reason! May not know the reason today, and that’s ok it will come to you when you least expect. You get what you need, not what you want.⠀⠀

5. Be disciplined. ⠀

I sucked at taking care of myself this year 🙋🏻‍♂️ Whether it was going on 2hrs of sleep in 30hrs and needing 3 coffees to power through or having my sweet tooth get the best of me, I can improve here. I’ll always be that person who continues to push my own personal bar, but realize that I can’t let myself or health go. Reigning it back in…a bit 😉 Even though I made huge progress, for starters, I still have a closet full of clothes I need to donate. The excuse of I didn’t have time is no longer valid and I just need to make it happen.⠀⠀

6. Learn from relationships. ⠀ The people in my life are incredible humans. The shared experiences, energy, wisdom is bar none more than any MBA course could ever teach. So enter the school of jason which is meeting incredible souls across from the world and learning from them and vice versa. That’s what makes this world a beautiful place!!!⠀⠀

7. Have purpose. ⠀ Really dig into the “why” you are doing something. At the end of the day, do the shiznit you want to do and don’t do what you don’t want to do. Life is too short to be worried about pleasing everyone else and time is valuable so please don’t waste it! ⠀

8. Give gratitude.⠀ I’ll be the first to admit I never would have gotten to where I am today without the help of others; and for that I am forever grateful. Whether it was a mentor that helped in my career to a best friend who is always there thick and through thin, I’m thankful. Each relationship and connection I’ve made, irregardless of the outcome, has enlightened me for the better and has a takeaway/lesson learned. So thank you all!!! ⠀⠀

We are better together, and together we rise!! Feel free to give this a shot and/or tweak to create your own version! The nerd in me wants to also draw up some charts with projections and bar graphs, but I’ll save you all. Nevertheless, I share this because you deserve to be the best version of yourself. I’ll tell you that I sure as hell don’t know it all, but I have been through a thing or two and it’s what brought me to where I am today. ⠀

Bring on the new decade!! Cheers to you all, wishing you a blessed and fruitful new year filled with continued growth ✨ May you be propelled to acheive your desires and success!! Peace 2019 and bring on the 20s, it’s going to be a doozy…⠀⠀

#sundayfunday #begooddogoodstaytrue #taketimetoreflect #dontforgettoloveyourself #treatyourself #tranquility #newbeginnings #2020

Current Song

Ziggy Marley – True to Myself

Over the years I’ve become a believer in that everything happens for a reason. It just does, wanted or unwanted, things just happen – such as my blessing in disguise post that awakened me. It started to make me question what is actually a guarantee or certainty in life. What I’ve come to uncover is nothing; and that’s the beauty of it. Hell, not even the seasonal weather is these days with all the extremes from warm to cold in the course of one week. Whether you play it safe and live in a bubble or sky dive everyday, we all die one day. The unselfish perspective is what is the life and legacy you want to leave behind? Fact is our time is limited and we can’t buy or acquire more of it. Can’t get to that project today, but I’ll do it tomorrow. I don’t have time this month to grab dinner, but I’ll for sure make time next month. Then before we know it it’s days, weeks, months, years later and we are still yet to do it. If you aren’t already raising your hand you should be because it’s happened to all of us. Big or small, I’ll be first to admit guilty as charged. Why? Well, ironically enough we often apply efforts and focus on the things in our lives that are nothing more than illusions or habits disguised as what we desire and consider our paradise. Let’s explore…

A few years ago I was certainly in great shape. Exercised 4-5 times a week, ate relatively healthy (confess I still had my vices), and was constantly on the move. Staying fit has always been a goal and knew it would leave me alive and well for many years to come. Circa 2016 and boom down I go in a blink of an eye. Wasn’t anywhere near my radar or those around me. My hypothesis of what I once knew was disproved and went out the window. I felt cheated. Mislead. Singled out. Downright angry. As the weeks carried on being in the hospital and going through rehab to relearn the life basics from how to put pants on to slicing up my face attempting to shave, my attitude was shit. Hell even told my parents I wanted to end it all. Definitely not my finest moment, but ironically it kinda is. I had hit my rock bottom and my poor parents were there to witness it. I yelled, cried, swore every single emotion without holding back. Nevertheless it was beautiful. We were together as a family, and learned no matter what they would be there for me.

As I regained conciousiness I craved for reassurance and certainty from doctors to my parents that I would recover and be back to my normal self. Truth was that no one could give me that. I longed for it and in some cases even begged for it countless times. Then I learned over time that all I needed it to come from was myself. I am in control of my life and destiny. So I focused on what was certain; my ass was going to fight back and would take whatever uncertain result I would get. And fight I did and will do for the rest of my life. My prognosis after 2.5 years has been great, but have seen it flatline over the past year. Yeah it definitely sucks, and has me really bummed out at times, but I live on for the belief of uncertainty. It was the Aha moment I was looking for.

Uncertainty is actually what we live in yet seek for certainty which is eventually what breaks us. If I work hard at this job then I’ll get a promotion in a couple years then I’ll be in a better place. Walk into work the next day and poof you’re laid off. Obviously, it’s probably a low chance, but the possibility is still there. It’s our nature as humans to crave certainty. I just keep going because I know I have a much larger purpose of being here. Been doing plenty of self reflection and writing over the past year and working towards doing a TED talk. Not an if, it’s a when. I’ve been busy disecting and seeking to understand life. I won’t know it all nor do I want to. As long as I have the right attitude, then I’m ready for anything thrown at me.

So I go back and ask you, what is the life and legacy you want to leave behind? I’m sure it’s not working the 40, 50, 80hrs on something you don’t really love or doesn’t contribute to your overall purpose. I want be famous and known for living it up with ultimate resilience to anything thrown my way. That in itself has no dollar value amount and can be passed on to touch lives years and generations post my life. “Look at my own life with insignificance and the impact to others as the real never ending significance” – Jason Flores. If I get my ass hit by a car tomorrow I’m good with it because I would have lived it up every day. I would absolutely die in peace and content. I know as humans we are complex AF, but we need to realize that it’s what defines us. Enjoy the gift of uncertainty and raise the middle finger to certainty my rockstar friends 🙂 Hope you all had a great Easter and kick ass!

Current song: Antics – Find a Way

Howdy! So who else is excited that Summer 2018 is officially here?! I definitely am because I’m ready to soak in some sun, inhale that smokey bbq aroma, and sip on some ice cold mint mojitos after all the radical changes I’ve put myself through the past couple months – landed an awesome new tech leader gig and moved from Seattle to Huntington Beach; doing it all solo without knowing anyone for thousands of miles and flying by the seat of my pants. It all sounds fine and dandy (I know as you roll your eyes, dude you are at the beach), but I’ll give you a closer glimpse of what it has really been like. Let’s get real. No facades or sugar coating to cover anything; here is my point of view unfiltered. Some good, some bad, but it’s all a part of growth and becoming a better person. I share this at a time where the recent tragic news of the departed Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, in hopes to remind us that we are all human and individuals dealing with our own battles. So, don’t be alarmed because I know some of you will 🙂

I’ll start with I have been told by many family, friends, and coworkers how lucky I am and that they wish they had what I do. Well if we look under the hood, it all depends on what we value the most in life. For many it’s always family and the buck stops there. Or it could be the generations of a business that has been handed down for decades. Maybe it’s a sport that you’ve played since you were a little tike and are chasing that dream of going pro. Whatever your passion may be, we always put our blood sweat and tears into it. The challenge is, what if you don’t have a passion like that for anything? Or if you did, but life happens and for whatever reason it’s now lost or gone? You think to yourself, fight tooth and nail to find something else that defines you or teeter back and forth between the value of pushing forward and giving up. Maybe you sulk into depression and close yourself off from feeling anything (love, happiness, sadness, etc.) I myself have walked many of these fine lines ever so closely the past 18 months more so than ever. We often joke from lines we hear in a movie or a comedy skit like “what’s the meaning of life”; well the scary thought of “what’s the point” of fighting and continuing in life has entered my mind more times than I can count. At times it’s only once and a long while and other times it’s every hour. Even more so now than ever because I’m all alone and if I wasn’t here tomorrow who would really care? The world would continue on without missing a beat and I don’t have a wife or kids I’d be leaving behind. Even the challenge of trying to finagle picking up just one of the 80 moving boxes made me want to call it quits. Then there is the incredible shit show of calling the beloved cable company, electric, gas, insurance, and DMV to name a few put me even closer to the edge because we all know how those situations go. (Quick pause – I did preface I would get real and hope you are still with me!)

Yet here I am, still choosing to stand strong despite everything that has been thrown my way because I believe that I just need life to play out and be along for the ride. I focused so much on my career and attaining more and more, but why? Will the Porsche, beach home, and money fill in all those holes temporarily and my ship is ultimately doomed? We know money doesn’t buy everything, but sure plays a role and helps; if viewed through the right lens. Staying humble and not becoming greedy or showing off is an example. Also, success and happiness looks different for me, you, and the next person. For me, the answer is to live my life to the fullest every morning I wake up and be thankful for my blessings each night. Each day is an opportunity for us to make a difference – big or small it all counts! Even a simple “hello” to a stranger, or a “how is your day” can completely change a persons day. That is what we must never forget. No matter how good or bad things get, we can always make a difference if not in our own lives, then others. When I hear someone tell me they are amazed how much I have been to recover, I used to think not much of it; like it was a normal thing that anybody would do. It’s becoming more apparent to me that maybe not everyone thinks like I do, or believes they have the strength but do, so why not share my story, journey, and learnings with everyone I can because dammit I’m alive and well! We ALL go through struggles and tough times, but we choose the lens we want to view it through. Keep that hopeful and positive lens on and hold on tight because it WILL get bumpy.

So here I am, a happy mofo with a damn smile on my face because I’m alive and one way or another making a difference. This blog is a prime example, keeping it going and sharing my story and hope you will too; if not your own, then mine because we all have one! Know that I offer all you an ear and someone to listen or talk to, day or night, I’m here. Sometimes knowing you are not alone is the comfort you need! I’m just a phone call, text, or email away. So I ask, what lens do you choose? Much love for you all and have a great upcoming July 4th holiday!

#onefootinfrontoftheother #youareloved #weallhaveapurpose #lifeisprecious #dontworrybehappy

Current Song: Afrojack – The Spark

I distinctly remember this day and it’s incredible that this was a year ago. Thinking back brings feelings of “why me”, being closed off with absolute disappointment, and outright scared. I then quickly figured out it was more than the physical deficiencies and there was something greater – mental health. It’s ironic that it is often the last to be thought of, but is actually the source of everything; it makes or breaks you, allows you to succeed or fail. You could be the strongest, most talented, intellectual person in the world, but if your outlook, confidence, determination, poise isn’t all together then it can all collapse and suddenly doesn’t matter. Many of you have asked me “how do you do it”, well let me tell you that I don’t have all the answers or a secret formula, but I will say the philosophy and key to my success in all aspects is to never loose hope, keep stepping forward, and have a bias for “yes I can”, I attest that abiding by this will allow things to just all fall into place.

To put things into perspective – the journey of life isn’t linear; think of it as a complex obstacle course designed to test your limits (Ahh, the classic days of childhood with Double Dare and the original American Gladiators). So I ask you, if you hit a brick wall or fall face first into a pool of mud do you throw in the towel and bow out? What is your limit, how much can you handle? Can you take a deep breath, suck it up and push through until you cross the finish line? It’s that athlete mentality that we can learn from to push the limit just a little further, today, a little more tomorrow, and so on.

I’ve learned that while it seems that you can force things to happen, it’s important to know that you need to let it happen and help those you meet along the way find their own path forward in their lives. Embrace failure, we are humans and it’s bound to happen. Don’t fear it – accept it, face it head on, and whatever happens happens. This goes for careers, dating, sports – it can be applied on all counts. Important thing is you tried, you no longer have to question it, you left it all on the table with no regrets! Keep learning, tweaking, you win some, you loose some and it just gets easier.

So please continue or come join me in paying it forward even with small acts of kindness such as holding a door open for someone; collectively if we all do a little more of this it makes this world we all live in a better place. Think about how you can frequently exercise your mental health if you don’t already do so! Many of us go to the gym 3, 4, 5 days a week to workout, so why don’t we do the same mentally?!? This can be done by just taking some time out to write, read, learn, challenge things in this world, dive deep, dissect it, be curious (unintentional A to Z plug) to meditation, relaxation techniques, teaching, motivational speaking, joining a group/community/club; the list continues. Lead by example and others will follow 🙂 Possibilities are endless and can’t wait to see what we can all accomplish together. Much love for you all and take care!

#blessed #aboutface #avmsurvivor #payitforward #nevergiveup #leadbyexample #stayhumble